A dating blogger fell in love, and ended his blog. But, he left some awesome parting advice for his readers.
I’ve got so many problems with this article that I’ve been ranting about it for hours on my Facebook. I’m posting my gripes on Tumblr as well.
1. Because everyone is different, and there’s no “end-all-be-all” advice for every person. This doesn’t cater to anyone with different personalities, or even non-neurotypical people, who might have vastly different ways of processing social cues.
like if someone having trouble making money, even after college, has to live with their parents before they can “shack up solo,” they’re essentially fucked for life. Or how about the man working to establish his living conditions beyond living with his family, who also happens to work within his family’s business? Is he a dating failure, too?”
And what does getting a Dog have anything to do with picking up women? You know what, that’s exactly what it’s suggesting- that men with dogs are “chick magnets.” Except…I call bullshit on that. I WORK within the pet industry, and I’ve gotten NO dates out of it, because…guess what?
DATING A PET OWNER IS NOT WHAT IS ON ANYONE’S MIND AT THAT TIME! It’s good to have pets, but as far as dating goes, no one fucking cares. It may spring a little bit of conversation, but nothing beyond that.
As for the Make Women Meet You part…he was on the right track, but went flat. He provided a terrible example on how to “make women meet you.” Yoga? To Meet Women? You don’t go to Yoga to meet someone and ask someone out on a date. Neither should you expect women to talk to their male Yoga Instructors and maybe date them. That’s most likely a set-up for a can of worms in their work-out routine.
If he perhaps provided a more productive example that stimulated a woman’s interests, concerns or fantasies, like say, becoming a Writer. Perhaps a career in Therapy? Or how about making an invention that will blow everyone’s mind? Those are great examples!
2. It also assumes that ALL women will respond in the same way, which is perhaps the only huge generalization I’ve found in this so-called advice.
Wait, so hold on, apparently I don’t NEED permission to hold my date’s hand when crossing the street, at the risk of being seen as creepy? and if she doesn’t like that, it may potentially ruin the entire day for me.
And trying to kiss on the third date? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I GET NERVOUS AS FUCK KNOWING IF I’LL EVEN GET A KISS TO BEGIN WITH! What do I even FIND to know she’ll be okay with it? And is she really wanting to kiss me, or is she just doing that because she doesn’t want to say no?
AND IF SHE DOESNT KISS ME, *I HAVE TO DITCH HER?!* If THAT doesn’t suggest I’m just basically telling her, “Sorry, but I only intended on wanting to be your boyfriend,” and not as a potential friend to look to (because how DARE I not continue to value her friendship if things don’t go as I would hope), I don’t know what else does.
3. Well, simply put, it’s published on Good Men Project. A blogging site that’s supposed to UPLIFT and HELP our fellow men. Not spoon-feed some pretentious dating advice.
I mean…this man may have some dead-on common sense points such as shutting down the nice guy act, saying her name, calling her, and so on…however…giving her a hug on the first date, holding her hand while crossing the street, asking her to take your arm…
…I’ve seen women talk about how absolutely awkward a big hug on the first date would be, because to those women, they perceive that as men “getting ahead of themselves.” Same goes with all the touchy-feely advice that goes along with the article here, because there are women who still feel unsure whether or not they should pursue a relationship with him. Yes, she is his date, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have any hang-ups still clinging to her psyche as much as he does.
So how do we handle these hang-ups to ensure that both parties will respond better to each other? Especially for non-neurotypical people, like those with autism who have a stigma attached to them because an organization brands them as burdens on society that need curing? I’m not expecting this guy to know absolutely everything for every person on the planet, but to believe that an entire spectrum of men will follow some of these tips and expect them to land a girlfriend is a mistake.
Come on, Good Men Project. You’ve provided way better than this.
- in memory of a deceased loved one
- because you happened to pass by a tattoo shop
- because it is your favorite quote
- because it’s from your favorite TV show
- to show dedication to your romantic partner
- because you liked the design
- because it has a deep meaning to you
- because you were young and stupid
- because you fucking wanted to.